5 Tips for Personalizing Your Ceremony: Ideas for LGBTQ+ Wedding Vows and Rituals

Your wedding ceremony is a deeply personal reflection of your love story, and for LGBTQ+ couples, it’s a beautiful opportunity to celebrate your unique journey. Writing vows and incorporating rituals that resonate with your identities and experiences can make your ceremony truly personal.

Here are some creative ways to personalize your vows and rituals to reflect your love in a way that’s uniquely yours.

1. Craft Meaningful Vows

Share Your Love Story

Your vows are a chance to share your journey with your partner. Reflect on how you met, the challenges you’ve overcome, and the milestones you’ve achieved together. Including anecdotes from your love story can add a personal touch and make your vows more meaningful.

Embrace your LGBTQ+ Identity

Every queer person has a personal story, and including aspects of it in your vows can be a really powerful point of reflection. Whether it’s acknowledging your LGBTQ+ journey, honoring your cultural heritage, or reflecting on your personal growth, weaving these elements into your vows can make them even more special.

Use Humor and Honesty

Don’t be afraid to infuse your vows with humor and candidness. Sharing funny moments or inside jokes can add a light-hearted touch to your ceremony, while honest expressions of your love and commitment can create a deep emotional connection with your partner(s) and your guests.

Write Together

If writing super personal vows feels too hard, you could consider writing your vows together to ensure they truly reflect your shared values and promises. This collaborative approach can help you articulate your mutual aspirations and dreams for your future.

Plus, queer people often buck tradition, so there is no reason that you can’t both be involved in the writing process together!

Looking for a few other ideas for writing your own vows? Our founder Jennie Crate, Photographer has a great post on writing ceremony vows

2. Incorporate Unique or Traditional Elements into the Ceremony

Some of these elements are considered more traditional, but the wonderful thing about planning a queer wedding is you can choose what you want to incorporate–tradition be honored or damned.

Light a Unity Candle

A unity candle ceremony symbolizes the joining of two individuals into one unified partnership. For LGBTQ+ couples, you might use candles in different colors or designs that represent your individual identities and the blending of your lives.

The Sand Ceremony

A sand ceremony involves pouring different colored sands into a single vessel, symbolizing the merging of your lives. Choose colors that represent your personalities or use sands from places that are meaningful to you as a couple.

Since many LGBTQ+ folks are also creating blended families with their marriage, this can be a great way to include your kids into your commitment to each other.

Handfasting

This ancient Celtic ritual involves binding your hands together with a cord or ribbon as a symbol of your union. Customize the colors and patterns of the cord to represent your unique relationship and the commitments you’re making to each other.

Personalized Time Capsule

Create a time capsule filled with mementos from your relationship—letters to each other, photographs, or small tokens of love. Seal it during your ceremony and plan to open it on a significant anniversary, like your first or fifth year together.

Custom Ceremony Rituals

Consider creating a new ritual that’s meaningful to you. This could be anything from a shared dance or song to a special toast. Incorporating elements that have personal significance can make your ceremony even more memorable. You could even consider asking your wedding party or some special friends/ family to be a part of this ritual with you.

For example, I once saw a couple include an “ice cream sundae making” component to their ceremony and each friend added a topping to the mix that had a special significance to the couple and their relationship.

3. Honor Loved Ones and LGBTQ+ History

Acknowledge Family and Friends

Include a moment in your ceremony to honor and thank your family and friends for their support. This could be through a special dedication, a reading, or simply acknowledging their presence and impact on your relationship. Don’t forget that chosen family can be a part of this too!

Incorporate Loved Ones’ Traditions

If you have family traditions that are meaningful, consider integrating them into your ceremony. Whether it’s a cultural ritual or a personal custom, blending these elements can make your ceremony feel more inclusive and connected to your roots.

Honor LGBTQ+ History

Marriage equality in the United States has only recently existed (2015), and that is certainly something to be remembered and celebrated. Consider reading parts of the Supreme Court decision Obergerfell and Hodges in your vows or ceremony.

4. Celebrate Your Unique Journey

Ask a friend or family member to officiate

The great thing about Colorado is that you can self-solemnize, which means you can marry yourself by signing your marriage license. You don’t need an ordained minister or a judge to make things official. The great thing about this is that you can ask anyone to be your officiant. And the benefits of this are endless! A personal connection can roast, toast, and storytell in a way that a hired officiant just can’t. Bringing an added layer of special to your wedding ceremony.

Incorporate Personal Symbols

Include symbols that are meaningful to you, such as gemstones, specific colors, or objects that represent your journey together. These symbols can be incorporated into your décor, your attire, or even your ceremony itself. And don’t forget that a nod to pride symbols can be a subtle or as loud as you want!

5. Don’t forget the exit!

The exit to your ceremony, as well as the exit from your reception can be a great place to display your pride. Bring in Pride flags, play a fantastic gay anthem, or don a cool cape to walk back down the aisle after you’re officially married.

Conclusion

Personalizing your wedding ceremony with unique vows and rituals not only makes your day more memorable but also authentically reflects your love and journey as a couple. By infusing your ceremony with personal touches, meaningful symbols, and cherished traditions, you’ll create a celebration that’s as unique as your love story. Embrace the opportunity to showcase who you are as a couple, and let your wedding be a true reflection of your shared commitment and joy.